I am trying to get back to writing again. I am not good at it but I want to work on it. My grammar is not flawless, my vocabulary is basic and my imagination is not as wide as it used to be. I want to tell stories, even just simple and nonsense ones and hopefully, someone will read it in the future.

There are so many things that I want to do and I realized that I only pursued them at first, I always abandon them in the middle. It was because of lack of motivation and my laziness and the fact that my attention is like that of a two year old kid. After all these years, I am still that rolling stone which failed to gather moss. And I have made a lot of declarations in the past before that this time will be different, that I will make sure I make it happen for me. (I a tempted to say that now so I reminded myself of this blunder I always do.)

Now I am openly praying that this time, I hope God will allow me to pursue this with flare and passion. I am 35 and there's got to be something that I am good at.

Envy

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins and now I understand why.

I know someone who was driven by her extreme envy that led her into doing things which were out of her character. She stole money and stole somebody's fiance. She weaved an intricate web of lies that only became her own trap. Now, she is the laughing stock of everyone. She has no idea that all the people she is trying to fool can see through her. The guy she stole is back in his fiancee's arms and told her in her face that she stole his money. Now she is trying to seduce another guy but that guy seems to see her for what she truly is.

Looking at what she is going through made me realize and see how deadly envy can be.

I had my share of envy, especially when I was much younger. Growing up and learning to face my demons helped me shake off the excessive envy that I used to carry around me. I have learned to accept my flaws and improve on them. I have learned to accept that all those material things I desire, I can work hard to get them. I think I heard this from Rico Robles, his father taught him not to envy but to work hard to get the things he wants.

You see, all of us, want to have a better life. In any aspect whether financially, socially or even intellectually. Sometimes we can't help but want what other people have. However, we have to be aware of our limits. It's okay to work hard for something similar but to steal something from other people is a different thing. It's okay to be accused of being a copycat or "gaya-gaya" than being a thief.

Well, the story of that girl is quite complicated. And I would rather leave her alone to make her realize her mistake because she is not a kid to be advised. Besides, knowing her, she would only turn the tables against me and accuse me of being envious of her.

I am writing this now to remind myself, in case I envy someone in the future, I would think of her and see how envy is slowly killing her.

Hello 2014!

It's three days before I go back to work. And yes, as usual, I am not yet in the mood to go back. There are a lot of reasons and one of them is my number one problem: laziness. I am still feeling lazy and no matter how many self motivation techniques I use, I still feel the same.

Anyway, I know myself too well. I might be feeling like this today but tomorrow will be a totally new day. Things will be good and 2014 will be better.

This year, I have decided not to write my resolutions here. Maybe there will be a bigger chance of me sticking to them if I have it in a place which I can access regularly. I haven't completed my list yet and I will not put too much pressure on myself. I will just do what I can.

2014 is the year of the horse, my year. And I would like to believe that this will be a good year.=)