Brief Break

It's a Friday! And it's the first of June. I went in late as usual but the training was done quickly and I do hope that it was time well-spent

So anyway, it is another ordinary day in an ordinary me's life. I am currently taking a break from all my paperwork because I simply like taking a break every now and then. It's not as if I am totally not doing my job. I am working a while ago, it's just my eyes are a bit tired from looking at all those lines in the Microsoft Excel Worksheet I've been working on. Now here's something that soothed my eye pain. Jaran!!!!

See? My eyes are feeling good now. Jo In Sung is such an eye candy. =)

So I would go back to work for now. I have found the reason to smile.

Hooray for Teachers!

The teachers' demo was great today. I would say that I am very proud of the teachers. They have improved a lot! It was just so nice to see that they have gained a lot of confidence and skill these past few years.

A lot of people are aware that teaching is not an easy job. You've got to have the skills, the knowledge, and the passion to do this. As I said before, this is not merely a job, it's a calling. you can't survive if you don't love it.

And I must admit that I have fallen in and out of love for teaching. There were so many instances that I considered changing my line of work. I got frustrated, unappreciated and unfulfilled at different points in my career. Seeing the teachers earlier ignited my passion for education. I am in love with learning and now I am equally in love with teaching.

50 Things I Hate

The trending topic in Twitter today is 50 things I hate. Since there are some followers I don't want to offend, I'd rather list them down here. When I say things, I mean "THINGS" literally, as in objects and some animals too.

So here are the 50 things I hate (not in chronological order)RIGHT NOW.

1. Paksiw na Bangus - the sourness and the smell make me want to puke
2. Spiders - period.
3. dirty toilets - who likes them?
4. tight jeans - can't breathe in them
5. round neck shirts - makes me feel strangled
6. tight shoes - kills my toenails
7. snakeskin - sends shivers up my spine
8. okra - too slippery
9. badly written novels - waste of words and paper
10. gruesome action scenes - where's the art in that?
11. tasteless nude photos CLAIMING to be works of art - duh?
12. roller coasters - anything that makes my head spin is an enemy
13. Emperador - made my head spin and gave me diarrhea the next day
14. cheesy pick-up lines - enough already!
15. senseless novelty songs - makes my ears ache, makes my head ache
16. parasites - ticks, lice, fleas and even people
17. striped shirts with checkered pants and vice versa - such an eyesore
18. slow internet connection - nuff said.
19. plastic curtains - should be in the shower
20. big hair ribbons on adults - another eyesore
21. credit cards - lead me not into temptation
22. loose threads - causes accidents
23. blind curves - more accidents
24. slippery floor - more victims
25. the steam from the ground after a brief rain that came after a very long hot day-
causes diarrhea
26. smell of burning clutch - makes me nauseous
27. heavy traffic - destroys my mood, my schedule, my goals
28. stainless, metal glasses and plates - makes me feel like a prisoner
29. expensive restaurants that serves blah food - this is big time swindling
30. extra large pendants - it may be deadly
31. strong cheap perfumes - makes me vomit
32. pencils that are so hard to sharpen
33. erasers that don't fully erase
34. rough paper - gives me this tooth-edge pain
35. cheap hotdogs - ugh! the taste
36. tangled bra straps - just hate it
37. nails scratching glass - drives me crazy
38. too much friction - destroys things
39. hard stools - ouch!
40. dust - stings my eyes, makes me sneeze, and makes beautiful things ugly
41. politics - a very dirty game
42. violence - morbid acts of humans to other humans and even to animals
43. pornography - I mean tasteless, unrealistic and abnormal portrayal of sex
44. common CR's - just feels uncomfortable
45. bad haircuts - ruins self confidence
46. too much make-up - boosts confidence in the wrong manner
47. bright lights - hurts my eyes
48. checkered walls and floors - also hurt my eyes
49. dimly lit bars - makes me sleepy
50. body odor - biggest uggghhh!!!

These are the things I hate right now. Maybe they will change in a day or two.

My Day

I kinda feel like a snail these days.

All the goals I set for myself are not yet met but I just go on working. It still needs to be done even if I am all messed up.

My productivity is affected by the fact that I am addicted to Korean movies and drama. There are so many films to watch and I can't get enough of all those hot Korean actors, particularly Zo In-Seong. He fills up the screen, my dreams, and every minute of my waking moment. Darn! This is really a bad case of addiction. Hopefully, this will be over in a few weeks.

Funny thing happened today, I checked my ATM and my salary doubled. I almost jumped at the opportunity of having all those extra cash. But you see, I thought of the person who made the mistake of putting that amount and I can't bear to think that he or she would suffer just because I was greedy. I bet the bank would just take it back.

Why does making money have to be so hard?

No matter what other people say, money matters. We all need it to survive. I just wish I don't need too much of it. I am not really materialistic you know. Whatever I have, I share it with my family and friends. Sometimes it's just hard to find it. I work hard, make sacrifices just so I can enjoy it.

Anyway, I believe that God gives people enough for what they work for. Maybe I am not trying too hard.

I told myself that I am not ready to watch "A Frozen Flower." But I'm checking it out soon. I am feeling hot right now and I mean that literally. It is as if I have fever or something and heat is radiating from inside my body. Maybe it's just the weather or because I ate spicy food again.

So anyway, I'll get back to business.

Move!

I woke up a little later than I planned. And I'm still here, sipping my cup of coffee and working in front of the computer. I am not in the mood to facilitate the meeting today. But I don't have a choice. This is my job and I must do it.

I had a long, good night's sleep. But I woke up feeling sluggish. I still have a lot to do and my hormones are killing me. I can't be successful if I let laziness get into me. I must move, move, move!

Trying to be Good

First day of training went well.

Good thing I have enough energy to last the day. The weird thing is I was smiling for no reason, well a secret reason of course. I cannot tell everyone that I am actually smiling because I cannot forget Sang-Min's face in The Classic.

Maybe I have loose screws in the head. I can't get enough of Jo In Sung. My goodness! I want his pictures, his dramas, his movies, music videos and even commercial films. I have been a fan before and I know how's it like. These will all come to pass and before I am even aware of it I won't find him so interesting anymore.

So anyway, I have to concentrate on my job and take things seriously. I am challenged and I like challenges. I just hope it's not too hard that I would want to kill myself. Well, the Lord only gives burdens we can carry right?

I know compared to other people I have an easy life. All I ever have to deal with was the lack of money and the absence of a man. Sometimes I find unhappiness at work or with some people I love but I get over it in a short period of time. so I am choosing to be thankful. I don't want to be needy anymore. I will make the best of what I have now and if success comes, I would welcome it with open arms but if I fail, I would get the lesson I need to learn and try again.

Maybe it's true that I have been left behind by people my age. Most of them are married and are financially stable. I have to admit that it pains me and it makes me sad but I won't let these feelings stop me from trying again.

I am lazy, I lack determination, and I don't have passion. I can be arrogant and boastful sometimes. And I try to please everyone all the time. I am trying to change. I cannot continue insisting that this is me and people just have to accept that. I am not a perfect person but I sincerely want to be a good one.

The Classic

Darn that Gladys! She did not text back and now she's bugging me on FB. I can't go out at this hour especially since I still have some typing and editing to do. I could've gone out instead of spending my afternoon watching this Jo In Sung movie I found.



I am so in love right now!

Cheesy and crazy as it sounds, I love this movie. I love happy endings. Even if it did not happen to the parents, at least it happened to the kids. Fate has a way of bringing together people and I believe that. There are no coincidences, there is a bigger plan behind all things.

This is not my story to tell. I hope someday I'll have my own. Right now, all I can remember are the bitterness and hatred I have felt because of heartaches. I have moved on and I have forgiven those people who hurt me in the past, I just hope I can forget. I would love to find that man who can make me forget all those hurtful things from the past. Perhaps I can write something like this movie.

200 and still going...

This is my 200th post and I have not planned anything special. It's just my usual ranting and complaining how there is so much things to do in so little time or how boring it is in this place blah blah blah.

Kim Soo Hyun is coming to the Philippines according to some rumors. I would not celebrate yet until I get concrete details. I still have a huge crush on him but my oh my I am crazier for Jo In Sung Right now!



Recently released from the military, he is sizzling in the pics! "Memories of Bali" was his only work that I was able to watch but after re-watching it, I would definitely search out the rest.

My Goodness! He is just so perfect. I love his height, his built, his skin and his oh so damn good looking face. I can't find an ugly angle! His eyes are so mesmerizing especially when they're looking on the side. I want to scream!!!

I can stare at that face for the whole day and be happy doing nothing else. Why oh why does he have to be so far and unreachable? And even if he is reachable I doubt that he would even notice me. I am here again with illusions and daydreams and craziness. I hope I can find my own Jung Jae Min no matter how bratty he is as long as he is as drop dead gorgeous as Jo In Sung.

So anyway, I have done the new curriculum for the nursery and kindergarten class. All I have to work on right now is the RC curriculum and the Filipino module. I am prepared for the training on Monday. And this will definitely be the time for me to start dieting! I have binged again and I am not sure how I am going to burn all those calories. Gladys did not text me back so I wasn't able to go out on this Saturday night. I hope I can meet up with my friends before the school year officially begins and I am way too busy.

I hope I can continue updating this blog regularly. Even if nobody reads this, I am happy that I have found a place where I can express myself freely.

heers for my 200th post!

Go!!!!

This is what I've been dreading. I am beginning to feel laziness sink in. Two days before the training and I am feeling like this. I cannot allow this!

Maybe it is because I haven't washed my hair for two days now. I have to wait until Monday before i wash this thing off. The weather is not on my side as well. It's way too humid and my skin is so sticky I can cover myself up in paper. When i take a shower, I am barely a minute out and I am sweating again. I am living in a tropical country I know but it was not as hot as it is now when I was younger. Global warming really sucks!

Anyway, i know I am just making excuses. I spent the whole day staring at these pictures of gorgeous Korean males. I will start working after I eat my lunch and take a bath and once my sister leaves. Maybe I will clean up the house first just to clear my head. I have to make a schedule and stay away from all my DVD's and any distraction. No more excuses! Go!!!!!

Still Going....

Finally had a haircut and rebond.

I feel quite good actually. I was planning to insert a pic but my internet is not so good and to be honest, I can't quite get a good angle. So maybe I'll just post when I feel better. I kinda look old in my pics.

I'm not done with my work yet but I know I can finish them over the weekend. Right now I am just watching a few episodes of "Memories of Bali." I stopped rewatching "Dream High" because you know, I am getting crazier for Song Sam Dong. I just read a tweet saying he might visit the Philippines. I am excited but I hope I am not as crazy as I am right now for him because I don't want to get over my head.

So tomorrow I will start planning again. My mood is still a bit high and I hope my hormones won't pull me down.

It's High Time Once Again

I am supposed to be working.

Well, I am just having a break. I am done with the first part of my paperwork. I just want to stop thinking for a while. Watching Korean dramas are very relaxing. They entertain, they make me laugh, and make me fall in love. At least for the actor once in a while.

My one week vacation is almost over. I am planning to have a haircut ASAP. I need a change and I will begin with my hair.

I am in that high mood again.

I am inspired to make things happen, to push through with my plans. I just wish I could stay this way always. Sometimes I feel like a lunatic. My mood changes with the phases of the moon.I don't even know what the moon looks like right now but I want to hold on to this determination.

Out of this World

I'm out of touch with the real world again.

This frequently happens when I go crazy for celebrities or their characters on some movie or TV show I just watched. Right now it is Kim Hyu Soon with his Dream High character. Not long ago it was Matthew Gray Gubler and his Criminal Minds persona Dr. Spencer Reid, James Franco as Daniel Desario in Freaks and Geeks, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tom Hansen in 500 Days of Summer, and the list goes on.

I kinda love and hate the feeling at the same time. I love it because it keeps me inspired, makes me want to be better. I hate it because I know it turns me into some kind of freak with delusions of grandeur.

I tried channeling all my energy and emotions into making fiction instead of just daydreaming or fantasizing about meeting them or simply breathing the same air as theirs. It just won't work. After writing, i'm still back to daydreaming. It feels nice to have a reason to smile each day but it can be quite crippling.Given a choice between Dream High reruns and my lesson plans, I would definitely start preparing my popcorn and the couch to enjoy a few minutes with Song samdong.

I have piles of paperwork to do. The new curriculum, the Filipino module, the training module - they are all waiting in the shelf. I need to get back to reality before i get buried with all these papers!

uh-oh

I am infatuated again.

I am really getting old. My days are spent working and watching TV. And recently, I got addicted to this Korean drama, "Dream High." I have a big crush on one of the actors, the guy who played Marco Song or Song Samdong - Kim Hye-soon. I am not even sure if I got that right. My goodness! He is just a kid, he is just 23 years old.

And here I am. A 30 something, on the way to spinsterhood, turning into a teenage fangirl! What kind of situation have I gotten myself into?!

Well, just like my other celebrity crushes,this will come to pass. I am just pleased that I found a new reason to smile.

Tick Tock

The summer classes is bout to end in a week. well, I can proudly say that I did my job well in teaching my kids and we all had worthwhile summer sessions. Overall, I am satisfied with my job.

Now, I have to face working on with the new curriculum, the teachers' training in June, the parents' orientation, etc. I am actually excited about all of these but as usual, I can hear the clock ticking and each day I feel that time is running short once again because of all these goals that I have set for myself.

Anyway, I was happy the day before because all my entries for The Morning Rush Top Ten were picked. However, I am a bit sad now because I am looking for the podcast but I can't find it anywhere. Haist! the only time I get to hear all my entries went unrecorded. I guess I'll just have to try again next time.

It's my boss' birthday and we will be eating out. I am a bit excited to go out because the past days have been spent working and sleeping and surfing the net. I just hope we'll have our salaries even if it is a bit early because I am literally running out of cash.

At least now, I will not be bored. I have a lot of things to do and hopefully I will have the energy to do all of them. The buzzer beater in me is revved up once again and the next few days will be as busy as ever.

Holding On

Things are okay right now.

Once again. I am in that place wherein I can't say I am happy and I can't say I am unhappy. I am just okay. My family's relationship is as unstable as usual and so are our financial status, my love life and my career. Everything is normal.

I just read an article about fighting burnout and I just discovered that there is what you call idealistic loss. Perhaps this is the pain that I have that I am aware of but refuses to acknowledge. I cannot accept the fact that I am hurting because I have not reached my ideals. I kept making excuses about being okay about it when the truth is I am fighting back whatever emotion I feel when I see myself being this way.

I know we are better off than before but this is not what I dreamed of. I wanted to earn lots of money to buy a house for my family and live a life we all deserve. I did not want to be a teacher. I wanted to write but I lost all the passion and the imagination I used to have when I was younger and with them, I lost the confidence and the guts to try my luck in writing. I wanted to get married at 27 but here I am, almost in my mid-30's still boyfriend-less and date-less. I didn't imagine I would get this big, literally. I used to have a 24inch waistline and now I don't even want to hold a tape measure anymore!

A lot of things went wrong with my life and I am in pain because I want to hold on to the hope that I can still fix it. I tried thinking positive and praying but the pain is still here. Because to be honest, I am slowly running out of hope. Day by day I can feel myself slipping and letting go of that hope. I am beginning to accept things as they are.

And I don't want that to happen. I still want to keep dreaming and believing.