Longing, Wishing, and Hoping

It's another Friday and inasmuch as I am happy that another work week is about to end, I am feeling uneasy because time flies by so fast.

As usual, I have a lot of things to do. Things I'd rather not do and I can choose not to do but I would do. I am mentally listing them but afraid to put them down on paper because they would overwhelm me and make me feel lazy again.

What I really want to do right now actually is to watch "Master's Sun" again and savor each heart fluttering, scream inducing moments and fall for So Ji-sub all over again. Gah! I really miss feeling that way for a real person. Good thing Korea and Japan don't run out of handsome actors I can drool over with lest I forget how it feels like to have a crush on someone.

One day I hope I can go to Korea and Japan so that I can at least have a sniff of the air they are breathing.I wish to set my foot upon the land they walked on for at least once in their lives. I want to lay my eyes on the sights they see from day to day.

It's just a longing.

And I know there is a possibility.

A much higher possibility of becoming real than wanting to see them or meet them.

I hope I can make them true.

Sucked in Once More

I am in love with another drama and another Hallyu star. This is what I hate about long weekends -it sucks me in another dimension and before I am even aware of it, I am the one refusing to leave.

"The Master's Sun" ate up my time but it left my heart full of hope, happiness, and giddiness. It made me hug my pillow, literally scream, and clutch my chest. And every time I see So Ji sub Oppa's face, I am biting my lower lip and holding tight on the table.

It's just so nice to call someone Oppa. I am actually not into older guys but seeing his face and those funny expressions on it made me drool. I didn't really look at him in "Memories of Bali" (because of the sizzling hot Zo In sung). I guess it was because his character. He rarely smiled in that drama.

Anyway, I know I'll get tired of this soon. Just like before.

But right now, just like my past visits to Hallyu land - I'll savor it and enjoy it. =)

Long Weekend Blues

I have another long weekend.

And I have a lot of things to do. But I am not pressured. The sembreak is about to come and I can do all the things I need to do.So I am relaxed. I am actually feeling a little hungry now.

A lot of things are going on in my mind. I want to do a lot of things, a lot of goals to reach and a lot of dreams to achieve. And as usual, I don't know where to start.

Gladys invited me for a night out earlier but my finances are not enough right now. I wanted to continue my novels but it seems Zoe and the rest of my characters are boring. I hate to abandon them without closure but I am not sure where they are going. I need a good source of inspiration to fuel up my imagination but I can't find it right now.

I don't want to sleep. Oversleeping makes my head ache and makes me nauseous. I hate those feelings.

Aaaarrggghhhh!

Hay! I can figure out what I want to do soon.

Touched and Inspired

I am easily touched and inspired by movies or TV shows that I watch. Just a few hours ago, I have seen an episode of MMK that inspired me.

I can relate to the dilemmas of the protagonist, about her looks, about other people putting you down just because you don't fit in to the stereotypical beauty. I remember being discouraged to join a sagala just because they are afraid that people will say bad things about me. I remember laughing loudly to fight the tears from falling when I heard one really ugly guy saying I am ugly. There were countless times that I was not given an opportunity just because of my looks. (But I am over that stage now. I know I am not ugly,neither am I a knock out but I have accepted how I look a long time ago.)

I can also relate when she made up reasons not to pursue her dreams just because of past discrimination that she received. She opted to be underemployed because of disappointments and fears. And I guess this is the part of her story that I can relate to the most. I have a good job but I know, and even people around me know, that I can do better. I keep making up reasons not to leave because I cannot tell them, that the real reason is I am afraid. I am afraid that I'll get rejected and I will not succeed.

However, the lead character said during her interview, that no matter what happens to her after that - she will be happy. Because she knows that at least she tried to take a step toward her dream.

And now I am inspired.

I will make my move. I will take a step. And if I fail, I can at least tell myself that I tried.

Wanting so Many, Getting Nothing

I'm in the middle of cramming my paper works for tomorrow. I am making progress and as of now, I am taking a brief break because I am really not in the mood to do all of these.

I want to watch a movie, or read a book, or make some sushi and do some crochet projects along the way. I have no stories in my head so fiction writing is not an option. I want all the pressures of my job to be over so I can do all of them and smile once more. I want to indulge in my illusions of grandeur. I want to think happy thoughts and imagine all my dreams coming true. I want to gather all the courage that I need to take steps in reaching my goals.

I want so many things that I can't get anything.

I can't even name which of them I like the most.