A Few Thoughts

The long weekend is over and I am going back to work by tomorrow. There are a lot of things to be done and I am done exploring my baby. So now, I am back to my old routine.

This problem me and our family have with supposedly new additions to our family is getting worse. We tried being nice, we tried ignoring, we even tried confrontation but nothing is resolved. I guess this is not a problem, it's a reality we have to accept and live with. All I can do is pray for the best. I just want this family to live as peaceful as we used to.

I will try my best to control my emotions this time and use my head. No one wins a war without a plan. I want this to be over and I hope it will be.

My Baby

I have my new baby!

It's a Lenovo idea pad S110. I know it's not the latest model but I am just excited to finally get hod of something that I never thought I would be able to afford. I am so excited to use it. Now, I can start making my stories and write my blogs regularly because I will be using my own notebook. I can bring my work at home too.

I'm just so excited I don't know what else to say!

Oh! It's my mom's birthday and it was a great day. Thank you Lord.

This is it!

So here's what I've been really excited about. I am going to buy a laptop. I don't want to talk about it until I get hold of the money and now that I have it, I will rush to the mall the moment it opens. No buts, no ifs. I will buy a laptop before I find myself buying more clothes and shoes.

Small to Big

Another week has passed and I am thankful because I was able to go right back on track after a week of having no classes and worrying when the rain would stop. It's a sunny Friday and the mattress is already dry. Aside from the mountain of laundry in front of me, I have to work on my students' cards and get ready for my tutees first trim exam. Everything is almost back to normal.

I haven't been writing as much as I used to. There's just so much things to do and honestly, I am not very inspired right now. Just as I predicted, I am not so infatuated with Kim Soo Hyun and Jo In Sung anymore. But I do miss my Koreanovelas and I still want to go to South Korea. It's just that I am taking things one step at a time. I am trying to reach my nearest and smallest goals first before I try my hand at the bigger and farther dreams I have.

One of the teachers who is so keen on wanting to get married announced this morning that she will get married this year. It's not that I don't want her to get hitched, it's just that she sounded so desperate. I wanted to get married too but not just because I am trying to catch up with my biological clock. I want to find that man I can spend the rest of my life with, not just any man who can father my future kids.

My co-teachers think that I have gotten bitter and jaded just because I came from a bad relationship. I still believe in love. I am holding on to that faith that one day, I will find that man who is destined to be mine forever. Maybe I am just not the type to tell everyone about it.

I will admit that there were times when I got so depressed I just wanted to give up. There was also a point in my life when I got so desperate that I fall for any guy who has shown just the slightest interest in me. But I guess I just got older and realized that if there is someone out there for me, no matter what the odds are, I would definitely meet that person.

Maybe I sound bitter when I poke fun at people with happy relationships or people who are desperately trying to find the one. But doing those things and saying those words make me forget that I have not found love yet. I don't want to go all gooey and sappy in front of other people. I want to be happy even if I'm still alone. The hope that my man will come someday is enough to make me smile.

Right now I am focusing on my smaller and nearer goals. Getting married and having a family is one of my bigger goals. I guess when I am done with the small ones, I can focus on looking for my destiny. Right now, I am just waiting and making myself easy to find. Maybe he is already looking for me.

=) =)

I am tired and sleepy but I can't retire to my bed right now. I have an exam to finish and lesson plans to edit. I was planning on getting home a little early but situations that were out of my control took place again. I'm okay with this though.

I am currently enjoying a game of puzzle bubble. I want to be totally relaxed when I start with my work. I can finish them in not time I'm sure. I can even start with unplanned tasks like recording and computing grades and preparing extra worksheets for my kids. And look! I'm still blogging even if I can still do this early tomorrow morning.

The thing is, I don't want to pressure myself too much. I have accepted that no matter how determined I am in reaching my goals, some things which I can't control happen. The important thing is I can bounce back and retrace my steps when I need to. God is just showing me that there are still things I need to learn and consider in every quest I am undertaking. I should learn to trust more in His plans than in mine.

It is only now that I am starting to realize that I am indeed getting better. The changes are so gradual that I barely notice it. I will not be so surprised if one day I see myself as the person I always wanted me to be.

Not so Lost Anymore

Little by little I am getting by. The class went fine. Tutorials were good. Money came and there is still more coming. I am not as disoriented as I was yesterday and the past few days for that matter.

There's a tropical storm but it's a little far from us. PAGASA said that it would bring more rain but I am holding on to my prayer that the water will not go inside the house anymore. No matter how prepared we think we are, it still is scary to see the flood rising up and wetting all your possessions. Unfortunately, because of this typhoon, our mattress will not be dry soon as well as the couch. We still look like informal settlers and evacuees inside our home but as long as we're safe and dry and we are here in our own place.

I want to give this place a chance. It's the most comfortable home we had so far. We can move freely at a price we can afford.

At this moment, I don't want to look at the future no matter how near it is. I just want to enjoy what I have now. I love my family, my friends, and even my job even if it drains me out. I don't want to make too much plans. I just hope God will lead me to the right path.

Retracing Steps

Starting all over again is not easy. For one, my resources are not enough right now. It's hard to run a car without gasoline if you know what I mean.

I wasn't able to go to church earlier. I wasn't able to edit LP's as well. My mom is sick. The bed is still wet. A lot of clothes are still wet. I just feel so disoriented I don't know where to start. It is as if I was happily traveling a road and looking at a map that suddenly went wrong. I'm lost and I am trying to find where I left off before the flood ruined everything.

I will perhaps list down my goals once more. I will start off with editing LP's and making a new schedule. Maybe I could call an informal meeting after class with the teachers or even with just Laoshi so that I can fix the lessons. Hay! I hope I can work this thing out.

just anything

We are almost settled.

Once the clothes and the bed dry up, we're as good as it used to. I heard there's another LPA on the way but I'll just continue hoping that the rain will not be as long and as bad as the last few days had been.

Worksheets. Yes, I should be working on them. School will be back to normal on Monday. I have a lot of work to do and I will be starting in a few minutes. Tomorrow I will help my Mom do the laundry but tonight I will do the job that pays the bills and brings food on the table.

I want to write. I feel the need to write but I can't seem to find the right topic, the right words. I am actually writing down things that just pop into my head. well, whatever. Once I get my thoughts straight, I can write more sensible things.

I guess I have to go to work now. Till Then.

Personal Lessons Learned

The rain lasted for three straight days. It still is raining but not as much as before and the flood has subsided. It went inside the house and stayed for two days. Earlier today, we were able to clean up 80% of the mud but our bed is not dry yet and we haven't brought down the ref from the sofa. Thank God this is not as bad as Ondoy.

From Ondoy my family and I have learned our lesson. We were able to save the handy valuables first and we carried enough clothing and drinking water to last for days. However, in times like those, panic is inevitable. No matter how hard we try to maintain our composure and presence of mind, fear seems to find its way in since we have experienced Ondoy and we can't help but compare this flood to that one.

Here are some personal lessons I've learned because of this flood.

1. Be ready to run - we sat down for hours watching the flood get bigger and praying that the rain will stop. When we finally decided to leave, we were able to carry a bag of underwear and lots of shirts but only one or two pairs of shorts and pants. The thing is once we have a feeling that something like this will happen, we have to prepare our emergency bags which contain useful clothes, important documents and some cash. And forget toiletries. I went for two days without brushing my teeth. Geez!

2. always have food ready - it's bad enough that you have to stay with other people (even if they are relatives), at least it won't be that much uncomfortable if we should at least give our share of food. Of course they are willing to share but they also need to eat. when you evacuate, bring along some cooked food or instant food in case the place you go to has limited sources of food.

3. put things up! - even if you are not sure how high the water will be, it's safer to put things up especially books and papers. We don't have a lot of trash this time because we were able to put my books up our bunk bed (thanks mom!). This way, nothing much was damaged and we have less to clean up.

4. have some spare plastic bags around the house - before we ran, one of our biggest problems was finding a bag where to put what we have to bring (hence the underwear bag). It is always helpful to have one of those sack bags around which are waterproof, may contain lots of stuff, and is easier to bring.

5. maintain order - when we were cleaning up, one of our biggest problems was finding our stuff. In the state of panic, we just dumped things in boxes and put them up on the table, the bunk bed, and on top of our cabinets. And once more thanks to our supermom, the things she packed are orderly and much easier to put back in place than the ones me and my sisters packed.

I just really hope that this would be the last time that we will face this kind of problem. I hope the government finds a permanent solution to this problem.

We will resume cleaning up tomorrow. Hopefully we all have the strength we had when we put up the refrigerator. We really need it when we'll put it back to its old place.

A short plea

The rains are getting bad.

Inasmuch as I hate the heat of the sun, I really miss it right now. The weather is getting extreme and mother nature is continually reminding us that we will suffer the consequence of our apathy. The memory of Ondoy is still fresh in my mind. I am praying that it won't happen again. Please Dear God, don't make that happen again.

Another Lazy Sunday

I did not do anything today.

Anything productive is what I mean.

I slept all day, watched a little TV and surfed some. I am supposed to prepare a lot of worksheets but I guess I am just not up for it. I wasn't able to go to church either. My plans were ruined because of my inherent laziness. It doesn't mean I am discouraged though. I am more determined to fight this and do whatever is necessary to get back that zest I had a few weeks back.

The kids are both here. I love having them here but they can be a little stressful especially when they are creating all these mess in the living room. Adie is talking a lot now too and Erin is exploring all the corners of the house.

The weather is the same. It's been raining a lot and I kinda miss the sun. This weather makes me want to sleep all day.

But I will not put the blame on things I have no control of. The only thing I can manipulate is the way I see things. So I think it's really my fault that I haven't been productive. Then I can do something about it now. Since I slept all day, I might as well be working all night.

Time to log out. =)

Mutterings

Finally!

The computer I am using at home is officially working and now I am back to working within the comforts of my own home. As I have stated earlier, I am loving this new place. It has more space and it is more accessible than the other places we lived in. I had my doubts before we moved in but now, I can officially say that we have made the right decision. The conflicts that arose a few days ago would have happened even if we didn't move in here anyway. It happened here so at least we're comfortable even if we have had a few misunderstandings with my oh so moody almost brother-in-law and oh so blindly in love half wit sister.I don't want to dwell on that so let's just move on!

Work has been a little crazy. I got sidetracked by some unexpected turn of events. I still have my goals clear but I have been late lately and I let my hormones kick in and made laziness dominate the past week. I said hello to cramming once again and now I feel kinda swamped with all the deadlines and the pressure I am putting myself into. I know I can bounce back. Hopefully I can go back to the lifestyle I want to have. I haven't been going to church for three weeks now and I am feeling guilty. I haven't opened my Bible but I try to pray as often as I could since we really need to hold onto Him now.

At least I have watched two great movies the past weeks. I enjoyed "The Amazing Spiderman" and "The Dark Knight Rises." Bummer that I wasn't able to watch "Magic Mike" but I can always count on my suki to have a copy for me real soon. I am catching up on "How I Met Your Mother" and the last season of "House." Probably I will be watching "Grey's Anatomy" and "Fringe" next week. I will review Criminal Minds before I watch the next season. I heard they would start filming this September and I kinda miss Dr. Spencer Reid. I am taking a break from my Hallyu madness but I still look at Zo In Sung's pictures from time to time. And by the way, he is also my screen saver in my cellphone and in the PC I use in school.

Overall I could say that I am doing just fine. I might be meeting up with Gladys and Ana soon. Ana will be having a trip to Bangkok next week and when she comes back I just have to get my pasalubong. Laoshi Carol and Jingle are planning a HongKong trip this November and I wish I could join but with my financial status right now, I just have to cross my fingers more.

I am just happy that this computer is working. I can finally blog more comfortably than the past two days. I wonder how's Paolo and Marco doing and will Murphy be able to have the story he deserves. I guess as long as this PC is usable, they will continue to exist in Sachets of Fiction.

So till then.