For a while I was able to forget about how I miss my RC kids. A whole day of games, stories, food, and swimming was just what we needed to shake away all these graduation blues that we teachers are feeling. It was really a blast. I had a great time and I wanted to stay a little longer but things end.
Anyway, I stayed in bed all day watching Daria from the internet and a few of the old favorites like Criminal Minds. I spent some time with Adie and Erin and went to church. During mass, the priest read this passage about dying to self to live your mission. Adie was a bit hyperactive so I wasn't able to concentrate but the gist is I realized something today.
I've got to let go of my foolish pride, laziness, and intellectual superiority for me to be good at my job. I've got to stop having this Superwoman complex and continually work hard. I have to kill off my super big ego so that I could be the most trustworthy head teacher in our company.
The thing is I always feel like everyone envies me because I am smart and they all want to bring me down. I sometimes feel like my coworkers and my boss don't trust me because they don't want me to outshine them. But I realized that I am looking at things the wrong way.
I am not perfect and I am not better than anybody else. People don't trust me much because I have the tendency to be irresponsible.
So now, I will prove them wrong.
I will do all my jobs and try to do them as early as possible. I will not settle for good enough but give it my very best. I will think first before I give judgments and assignments. I will do my job not to show off but to be more beneficial to everyone - the teachers and the students alike.
Maybe then I will realize that I am ready to move on and be able to shake my fears away.
Of course, everything is for God my creator and Jesus my savior who from the very beginning know what and who I can be. =)
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