A Few Thoughts

The long weekend is over and I am going back to work by tomorrow. There are a lot of things to be done and I am done exploring my baby. So now, I am back to my old routine.

This problem me and our family have with supposedly new additions to our family is getting worse. We tried being nice, we tried ignoring, we even tried confrontation but nothing is resolved. I guess this is not a problem, it's a reality we have to accept and live with. All I can do is pray for the best. I just want this family to live as peaceful as we used to.

I will try my best to control my emotions this time and use my head. No one wins a war without a plan. I want this to be over and I hope it will be.

My Baby

I have my new baby!

It's a Lenovo idea pad S110. I know it's not the latest model but I am just excited to finally get hod of something that I never thought I would be able to afford. I am so excited to use it. Now, I can start making my stories and write my blogs regularly because I will be using my own notebook. I can bring my work at home too.

I'm just so excited I don't know what else to say!

Oh! It's my mom's birthday and it was a great day. Thank you Lord.

This is it!

So here's what I've been really excited about. I am going to buy a laptop. I don't want to talk about it until I get hold of the money and now that I have it, I will rush to the mall the moment it opens. No buts, no ifs. I will buy a laptop before I find myself buying more clothes and shoes.

Small to Big

Another week has passed and I am thankful because I was able to go right back on track after a week of having no classes and worrying when the rain would stop. It's a sunny Friday and the mattress is already dry. Aside from the mountain of laundry in front of me, I have to work on my students' cards and get ready for my tutees first trim exam. Everything is almost back to normal.

I haven't been writing as much as I used to. There's just so much things to do and honestly, I am not very inspired right now. Just as I predicted, I am not so infatuated with Kim Soo Hyun and Jo In Sung anymore. But I do miss my Koreanovelas and I still want to go to South Korea. It's just that I am taking things one step at a time. I am trying to reach my nearest and smallest goals first before I try my hand at the bigger and farther dreams I have.

One of the teachers who is so keen on wanting to get married announced this morning that she will get married this year. It's not that I don't want her to get hitched, it's just that she sounded so desperate. I wanted to get married too but not just because I am trying to catch up with my biological clock. I want to find that man I can spend the rest of my life with, not just any man who can father my future kids.

My co-teachers think that I have gotten bitter and jaded just because I came from a bad relationship. I still believe in love. I am holding on to that faith that one day, I will find that man who is destined to be mine forever. Maybe I am just not the type to tell everyone about it.

I will admit that there were times when I got so depressed I just wanted to give up. There was also a point in my life when I got so desperate that I fall for any guy who has shown just the slightest interest in me. But I guess I just got older and realized that if there is someone out there for me, no matter what the odds are, I would definitely meet that person.

Maybe I sound bitter when I poke fun at people with happy relationships or people who are desperately trying to find the one. But doing those things and saying those words make me forget that I have not found love yet. I don't want to go all gooey and sappy in front of other people. I want to be happy even if I'm still alone. The hope that my man will come someday is enough to make me smile.

Right now I am focusing on my smaller and nearer goals. Getting married and having a family is one of my bigger goals. I guess when I am done with the small ones, I can focus on looking for my destiny. Right now, I am just waiting and making myself easy to find. Maybe he is already looking for me.

=) =)

I am tired and sleepy but I can't retire to my bed right now. I have an exam to finish and lesson plans to edit. I was planning on getting home a little early but situations that were out of my control took place again. I'm okay with this though.

I am currently enjoying a game of puzzle bubble. I want to be totally relaxed when I start with my work. I can finish them in not time I'm sure. I can even start with unplanned tasks like recording and computing grades and preparing extra worksheets for my kids. And look! I'm still blogging even if I can still do this early tomorrow morning.

The thing is, I don't want to pressure myself too much. I have accepted that no matter how determined I am in reaching my goals, some things which I can't control happen. The important thing is I can bounce back and retrace my steps when I need to. God is just showing me that there are still things I need to learn and consider in every quest I am undertaking. I should learn to trust more in His plans than in mine.

It is only now that I am starting to realize that I am indeed getting better. The changes are so gradual that I barely notice it. I will not be so surprised if one day I see myself as the person I always wanted me to be.

Not so Lost Anymore

Little by little I am getting by. The class went fine. Tutorials were good. Money came and there is still more coming. I am not as disoriented as I was yesterday and the past few days for that matter.

There's a tropical storm but it's a little far from us. PAGASA said that it would bring more rain but I am holding on to my prayer that the water will not go inside the house anymore. No matter how prepared we think we are, it still is scary to see the flood rising up and wetting all your possessions. Unfortunately, because of this typhoon, our mattress will not be dry soon as well as the couch. We still look like informal settlers and evacuees inside our home but as long as we're safe and dry and we are here in our own place.

I want to give this place a chance. It's the most comfortable home we had so far. We can move freely at a price we can afford.

At this moment, I don't want to look at the future no matter how near it is. I just want to enjoy what I have now. I love my family, my friends, and even my job even if it drains me out. I don't want to make too much plans. I just hope God will lead me to the right path.

Retracing Steps

Starting all over again is not easy. For one, my resources are not enough right now. It's hard to run a car without gasoline if you know what I mean.

I wasn't able to go to church earlier. I wasn't able to edit LP's as well. My mom is sick. The bed is still wet. A lot of clothes are still wet. I just feel so disoriented I don't know where to start. It is as if I was happily traveling a road and looking at a map that suddenly went wrong. I'm lost and I am trying to find where I left off before the flood ruined everything.

I will perhaps list down my goals once more. I will start off with editing LP's and making a new schedule. Maybe I could call an informal meeting after class with the teachers or even with just Laoshi so that I can fix the lessons. Hay! I hope I can work this thing out.