The school year is about to begin. I am neither excited nor scared. Just...normal.
My boss pointed out my lates this morning. I cannot react violently because it was stated properly and it really is my fault. I don't even want to defend myself or reason out because what I will say will be rude. I am always late because I don't feel like working. I have to force myself to go because I am so bored with my job which pays so little! The fulfillment of working with kids and teaching in general cannot even suffice because my compensation is not enough.
No matter how I try to think about it, even if I work my ass off, I cannot afford to buy the things that my family needs to live comfortably. It's not even enough for my own needs. My over functioning brain conked out when I try to compute. One of the things that I want is to live independently. Even if I get married, I do not want to depend too much on my husband to be. And if I want kids of my own, I want to be able to support them with my own earnings. With my present financial situation, thinking about the future is frustrating.
They say money cannot buy happiness. But at this moment, I need money to be happy.
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