I am into Japanese dramas lately.It's not that I don't like K-dramas anymore, they're just much shorter and those Japanese actors are like, well, uhmm...hot.

I am currently watching "Nobuta wo Produce." I am only in the second episode but I have already learned quite a few things. It's not preachy type,the lessons just come lightly. Like, wear the clothes you like while you are still young because a time will come when you have to dress up to please other people and being able to smile no matter what clothes you wear. The drama is a good one, no wonder the reviews are good.

Thank God I can only think of good memories in high school. I was not bullied or anything and I kinda feel sorry if I made anyone feel less of themselves because of my immaturity. I was not mean but I was not nice either. Being an adolescent I was way too full of myself. All I cared about back then was getting high grades and being noticed by my crush. I was not even pretty, I rarely comb my hair and I wear any clothes available in the closet. Though I tried to keep up with the latest trends but fashion was really not my thing.

Right now as an adult, all I care about is earning enough money to survive everyday. I don't have future plans, I have a few dreams but I don't have concrete steps in pursuing them. Often, I believe that I have wasted my youth on pursuing senseless goals. I am almost in the middle of my life but pathetically, I haven't changed my ways.

I always say that I want to be a better person. But by what standard? I still cannot find that one thing I am passionate about. I don't get enough drive and motivation. Bad things just discourage me, failure makes me stop. I am not like other people who gets more determined when the going gets tough.

I guess I just have to motivate myself. It;'s the second quarter of 2013 and I will be turning 35 soon. I have to get somewhere at least. I need to focus on one goal instead of pursuing many things all at once.